


Secrets

by Akaruii



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, Reader Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 12:32:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12035952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akaruii/pseuds/Akaruii
Summary: Some secrets can be revealed far too late.





	Secrets

“Roxas, isn’t the sky pretty?” you asked as you stared at the sky that was painted red with streaks of yellow, orange, and purple whilst sitting at the top of the clock tower with the said male. “It’s a shame that it can’t last forever,” you said as you placed your sea salt ice cream into your mouth, savoring the flavor.

“(Name), nothing lasts forever,” Roxas said as he bit off a part of his ice cream. You frowned at his negativity.

“You’re such a downer, Roxas. I bet that black coat of yours is starting to feed off negative energy,” you teased, giggling afterwards. The blonde smiled.

“And yours feed positivity?” he joked. You turned to him with a smile as you pointed your ice cream stick at him after you finished it.

“Exactly. That’s why we could make a great pair! With your negativity and my positivity, we’ll be able to rule the world… Of course, we’ll be ruling it under our great Organization leader,” you said as you waved your ice cream stick around. “Of course, we have to make sure there’s still sea salt ice cream left in the world when we take over! Otherwise, there’d be no cake to the icing to make things better,” you added happily, causing Roxas to laugh at your ridiculous addition.

“Don’t you mean the icing to the cake, (Name)?” You frowned.

“Of course not! Icing tastes bad alone, so if you add cake to the icing, then everything will be okay. Besides, the only reason we’re doing these missions are because we can meet up afterwards to have ice cream. Don’t you agree?“ you asked with a wide smile as you waited patiently for him to answer.

“I suppose you’re right…” Roxas admitted as he finished his ice cream. He noticed you were frowning and your eyes were narrowed as you stared at him. “What?”

“’Suppose’? It’s not ‘supposed’, Roxas. I am right. Look, if you keep up that act of acting superior towards women and refusal to admit they  _are_ right, you’ll never get a girlfriend at this rate,” you informed him. You made a face when you noticed he wasn’t amused at your statement.

“(Name), have you forgotten? We don’t have hearts, so we can’t feel anything. Isn’t that boyfriend-girlfriend thing useless since we can’t feel the emotion ‘love’?” Roxas asked as he stared down at Twilight Town below, watching as people ran past or chatted with others. Recalling that fact, your smile faltered as you looked to where he was looking.

“Following my logic, you  _are_  right rather than the supposed version,” you agreed. You pulled up your hood as you placed the ice cream stick in your mouth and kept it there. You then stood up, the blonde’s eyes following your movements. “But don’t act so depressed, Roxas. We’re in this organization for the sole purpose of getting hearts. If we slave away at the missions we get, I’m sure at least you would get a heart if not everyone,” you assured him with a smile.

“At least me? What about you, (Name)?” Roxas asked as he stared up at you with a puzzled look. You saw confusion in his eyes.

“Who do you think you’re talking to, Roxas? I’m the fifteenth member of the Organization! Of course, I’ll be getting my heart,” you lied as you forced on a smile. You tried hard in keeping your smile from faltering as you held your hand out to Roxas, waiting for him to take it. You saw doubt flash in his azure eyes as he took your hand and you helped him up. “You’re doubting me, aren’t you, Roxas?”

“…”

“See, this is why you’re Mr. Negativity and I’m Ms. Positivity,” you joked as you slowly slipped your hand away from his. “Man, you’re going to dampen the mood whenever we visit here with Axel and Xion again.” You smiled as you stopped and turned around, leaning over a bit to stare straight up at him. “Roxas, from today on, negativity is not allowed when we’re hanging out on the clock tower. Do you understand?” you asked as you waited for his answer. A few seconds passed by before Roxas laughed.

“Alright, I understand, (Name),” he said as he reached out to pat your head. You froze at the sudden touch and blushed slightly. “(Name), your face looks red. Did something bad happen?” You snapped out of your momentary trance as you backed away.

“Roxas, you’re such a joker! Haven’t you heard? A red face means that I’m getting a heart soon!” you sang happily as you opened a portal and skipped happily into it. Soon, you arrived at the Castle That Never Was. You leaned on a nearby wall, a frown on your face instead of a smile. “I’m sorry, Roxas… I lied…”  


“Roxas, I’m heading out to another mission!” you chirped happily as you waved at the blonde as he walked into the Grey Area. Roxas smiled at how much energy you seemed to have every morning.

“Good luck, (Name),” he said as he approached you. You smiled as you mischievously stared into his blue eyes.

“Who do you think you’re talking to, Roxas? I don’t need luck. I’m (Name) after all!” you said proudly. Roxas let out chuckle.

“I guess you’re right, (Name).”

“Oh, there’s that trait about you coming out again. I  _am_  right, Roxas,” you corrected the blonde with a pout.

“Alright, alright. I give up,” he said before the two of you began to laugh happily together. It wasn’t long before the two of you came to a stop. “You’re going now?” You nodded as you headed to the portal, but you stopped just before going in.

“Hey, Roxas?” This piqued the blonde’s curiosity.

“What is it, (Name)?” You forced a smile to stay on your face.

“Just this once, will you pat my head once more?” It confused the keyblade wielder, but he didn't hesitate to do so. For a moment, you felt as if you were able to live this moment forever, but you knew it wouldn’t last. Once he retracted his hand, you went back to the portal and walked through it, giving him one last message. “Bye, Roxas…” Your words confused him. You had said ‘bye’ instead of ‘see you later.’ Roxas pondered over it for a while and decided to wait until you got back from your mission to ask you.

_You never did._

You picked up a dusty book off your floor and dusted off the cover of the book. Your brows furrowed together in confusion as you looked to where the title was. It was strange. You, a person who loved books, didn’t know what it was about.

“That’s weird. I’ve never seen this book before, but I practically live at the library, so how?” you asked yourself as you flipped it open. “A diary?” Curious, you began to read it.

_Day 1_

_I met the thirteenth member today and of course everybody else in Organization 13, but that doesn’t really matter. I had a lot of fun talking with him. He had spiky blonde hair and wonderful blue eyes. His name was Roxas._

“Organization? It sounds like something only a kid could dream up,” you said as you flipped to another page.

_Day 9_

_Roxas showed me a place I never dreamed of seeing since I joined the Organization. The sunset was beautiful in Twilight Town, especially at the top of the clock tower! I also met Axel and Xion again and we had sea salt ice cream together. It was really good! I can’t wait to get some more._

“The clock tower in Twilight Town? I should check the place out sometime,” you noted to yourself with a smile as you flipped to another page.

_Day 17_

_Today I got paired with Roxas on a mission. It was really fun walking around with him aimlessly afterwards. We went to the clock tower again. It was really fun, but whenever I think about it, there’s some kind of emotion swelling up in me that makes me want to cry. I heard that it was called ‘sadness.’ I shouldn’t be able to feel anything since I don’t have a heart… I have to ask Axel about it._

“Don’t have a heart, huh? That’s impossible,” you stated with a small frown. “Definitely some weird kid wrote it. Even I can’t think of something that crazy.” You decided to look at an entry from the middle of the book.

_Day 117_

_I realized something important that I probably shouldn’t have. I don’t know about the others, but I know I can feel emotions, especially when I’m around Roxas. It’s really weird, but my heart keeps beating at an unbearable pace. If I could feel emotions, that means I have a heart, right? I’m not sure myself anymore, but I’m going to keep it a secret from Roxas._

“Who is Roxas?” you finally asked as you read over that entry. “It’s like this owner of this diary is in love or something.” Your eyes widened when you flipped onto another page.

_Day 135_

Tomorrow’s my last day. As usual, I couldn’t tell Roxas. I don’t know why I know, but I just know. Roxas and I ate ice cream again at the clock tower. We had a fun conversation, but I lied to him about getting a heart again. He patted me on my head too… Tomorrow… Tomorrow, before I leave for my last mission, I have to tell Roxas.

Without realizing it, tears slid down your cheek and landed onto the journal page. You wiped away at your tears furiously.

“Seriously, this could be turned into a romantic movie and everything,” you joked. “This can’t be the last page, right? Definitely not,” you convinced yourself as you felt through the empty pages of the diary. There was nothing until you got to the last page. You were scared of what it might’ve said, and even hesitated to read it, but decided to do so anyway. Tears formed once more as you read the short note. You looked to the inside of the back cover and saw something taped onto it. “That’s impossible… Roxas… Roxas… I feel so sad, but why can’t I remember anything about him?!”  


“(Name), I’m here– (Name)?” Sora yelped out as you immediately rushed out to hug him tightly. “(Name), what’s wrong?” he asked as he placed his hands on your shoulders and moved you back to see what was wrong. “Did someone break in? Did someone try to hurt you?” You shook your heard as you wiped away your tears, feeling embarrassed that Sora had to see you like that, but you couldn’t help it.

“Roxas…” you breathed out. The name alone shook something in Sora. The brunette quickly shook it off and wrapped his arms around your waist to comfort you.

_’Don’t touch her.’_

“Sora?” you called out in confusion when he retracted his arms suddenly as if your skin was some kind of fire.

_’It’s not **Sora**! It’s  **Roxas**!  **Roxas**!’_

“It’s nothing, but it’s weird. I thought I heard someone say something just a second ago,” Sora said as he scratched his head in confusion. You gave him a weird look, unsatisfied with the momentary hug. “W-What?”

“No wonder you’re not able to get a girlfriend before you met me. Look, if you keep up that act of acting superior towards women and refusal to hug them, you’ll never get another girlfriend when I’m gone,” you said with a pout as you placed your hands on your hip and stared at Sora with a disappointed look.

“Hey!”

_’(Name), won’t you look at me?’_

“But Sora…”

The nobody cringed.

“I found a diary while cleaning one of the unused rooms in my house. The entries are weird, but you’re the king of weirdness, so I thought you might’ve known something about this,” you said as you led the brunette into your home by his hand, closing the door behind you. You went to your living and picked up the diary off the table. You handed it to him. “What’s weird was that I wrote it.” You saw Sora making a confused face as he examined the book.

“Are you sure you– Organization 13!” Sora suddenly blurted out as he flipped to the first entry.

_’This is (Name)’s diary…?’_

“See! I knew you knew you something about it!” you chirped happily. “Continue reading, Sora.” Sora did as he was told, taking his time as he read through the entries of the ‘fifteenth’ member.

“(Name), this is making me cry…!” Sora said when he got to the middle of the diary. You let out a sigh as you watched him bite his lip in order to prevent his tears from falling. You quickly got out your handkerchief and wiped the tears from his eyes.

“Honestly, you’re such a crybaby,” you said with a soft smile as you dabbed on the tears.

_’(Name)…’_

“(Name).”

“What is it now, Sora?” you responded as you finished up wiping his tears. You waited patiently for what the brunette had to say, your eyes twinkling in curiosity. “Well? Out with it, Sora.”

_’(Name), won’t you say my name once more…?’_

“I-It’s nothing. Let’s keep reading!” Sora said hurriedly when he realized he was about to say something weird. Sora flipped through the empty pages to the diary until he got to the last page. “To Roxas.” The nobody responded to his name.

“Read it to yourself, Sora. I’m too tired from crying to hear the audio version,” you announced. Sora could only nod.

_’To Roxas; From (Name)_

Roxas, I lied to you. I should’ve told you it, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I had a heart, Roxas. I could feel emotions like humans. I felt two emotions the most whenever it had something to do with you. I felt sadness… and love. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about it. I’m also sorry I didn’t tell you that I was going to die, but there is something I wanted to tell you as well. Most of all, I wanted to say…’

“(Name), now I’m crying really hard!” Sora whined as he held onto the diary with one hand and wiped away his tears with the other. “She didn’t even finish her message!”

“Sora, aren’t you crying a bit too much?” you questioned as you helped wipe away his tears again, a troubled look on your face.

“But it’s so sad!” the keyblade wielder cried as he struggled to stop crying. After a few seconds, he calmed down and noticed something taped to the back cover. “What’s this?” Sora pulled the popsicle stick off the cover and also pulled the tape off as well. He read the word ‘WINNER’ and ‘Day 135’. Sora flipped it onto the other side and read it.

“I think that’s the rest of the message,” you pointed out. “Are you going to read it out? I haven’t read it myself since I didn’t tear it off the cover like you.” Sora gave you a sad look. You sighed and read;

_’…I love you, Roxas. Sorry for keeping secrets.’_

Sora felt a sharp pang of guilt and sadness in his heart, knowing full well that the feeling didn’t belong to him despite it being his heart.

_’I loved you too, (Name)… and I still do.’_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Italics near the end is Roxas talking, but since he's 'inside' Sora now, no one knows he's there. These do not include the diary entries that begin with 'Day 1', etc. The second to last italicized sentence is the one written on the ice cream stick that was written by you when you were in the organization.


End file.
